this past monday evening, i got the immensely beauuuuutiful pleasure of seeing gianna jessen speak at my church.
for those of you who have never heard of her or heard her speak--agh, you must!
(the above video was how i was introduced to her. when you get a chance, i highly recommend watching it. she will make you laugh, cry, and challenge you in ways you never imagined.)
so monday night, we had a "shower with purpose" to raise money for a pregnant girls home in orange county and gianna jessen came to support the fundraiser and talk to us.
what i love about her is she has no agenda when she speaks. she doesn't condemn or bring guilt or shame. and she never seems to have one point or message; she just lets the Spirit flow through her and give her the words to say. and boy, does it show.
here are some of the things she said that night that impacted my heart:
-as gianna began telling her heart-wrenching story {surviving a saline abortion in her mother's womb at 7 and a half months}, she talked about bitterness. and how beautiful it is when women choose not to be bitter. when women choose to be soft. but she also said that when you choose not to be bitter, you will, in turn, hurt deeply.
i think i have always needed to hear someone say that. for a long time, i have felt torn because i never knew which was worse: a hard heart or a broken one? and i would always swear to myself that there had to be another road to take. that there was something i was missing. but in hearing her say those words, i know there isn't.
and i do know which heart is worse: the heart that God can no longer mold.
but the hurting deeply isn't the end of it. gianna reminded us that God has indeed bottled up each of our tears {psalm 56:8} and that those who sow in tears will reap joy {psalm 124:5}.
she said that she has been reading the secret garden and she is sure that although life may feel as though it is breaking you sometimes, God is using those tears to water and grow the secret garden in each of our hearts, no matter how it feels at moments.
-gianna also said that she was reading the little princess {which was written by the same author as the secret garden}, which God used to speak through her during a painful cirumstance that would arise in the near future.
that event occurred when gianna's biological mother approached her at an event she was speaking at and told her she was "an embarrassment" to their family. gianna said that her mother began "spewing venom" and she had no doubt that it was a "strategic" attack from the Enemy to get her to sit down and shut up.
but God whispered something different to her: "you are a little princess--so speak like one."
gianna then proceeded to tell her mother, "ma'am. i am a Christian and i have already forgiven you. but i will not allow you to keep speaking to me that way."
i thought that was extremely powerful. so often as Christians, we are so caught up in the idea of "loving" that sometimes we forget to love ourselves.
even more, loving someone does not mean settling for any kind of abuse. and more often than not, i have heard the church teach the opposite of that. but we are not church girls; we are GODS girls :) and we should never settle for less than what He would want for us.
even more, loving someone does not mean settling for any kind of abuse. and more often than not, i have heard the church teach the opposite of that. but we are not church girls; we are GODS girls :) and we should never settle for less than what He would want for us.
we ARE little princesses and we should hold ourselves up as such.
-one of the things that i was so happy she touched on was the victimization of our culture. she spoke of the forefathers and their families and the things they risked and the lives that were lost...
"so that we can whine about nothing," she said.
"we have become a culture of victims, ladies and gentlemen, and a culture of victims leads to tyranny. there is someone out there just waiting to rule you."
wow. talk about knock-your-socks-off. i was blown away. and even more, thankful that an "amen" resounded off the walls of the church building.
but gianna is right. unfortunately, i know many Christians who are the first to join in on the victimization mentality. whining and complaining about the most trivial, unimportant things.
and as Christians, WE are supposed to be different. the stand-up-on-our-own-two-feet kinda people. the kind of people who look for the good rather than the bad in every situation. the kind of people that remind others of what they have rather than what they don't have.
Christ is the only one who offers life that is fulfilling. and we have it right at our fingertips. instead of complaining about the things we don't have or wish were different, we need to show the world the Love we do have. and hope that maybe they'll want some of that love, too.
-the last thing she said that i really, really needed to hear was:
"i did not survive an abortion so that i could appease Christians."
Christians weren't the only ones on the list. but that was the people group that stood out to me the most.
but gianna's point was, she doesn't answer to anyone--not even Christians. she answers to God. and if the Christians she's surrounded with ask her to tone some things down because they might "offend" someone, she refuses to do it.
i'll be honest and say that i've offended plenty of Christians in my day. i've lost life-long friends over things that i believe God called me to say and represent and stand up for. and strangely enough, when non-Christians have deleted me off of facebook or yelled at me while protesting on a street corner, i've understood. it makes sense. but when people i've sat next to in church my whole life are criticizing my Christian walk...it has hurt. i assumed those people would always be on the front lines with me, standing up for the things we learned about together. it is hard to imagine that i might be serving a different God than the Christians i grew up side-by-side with.
but that's okay. because like gianna said, appeasing any human being, Christian or not, is not what we are called to do. at the end of this life, we won't being standing before the throne of our best friend or neighbor or sister or co-worker. we'll be standing before the Lord of Hosts, the Creator of Life and of Love. and He will be the one we answer to. so at the end of everything, being made uncomfortable will not hold any light to truth and what i have done with the knowledge and beauty it holds.
she challenged me even more to never stand quiet about the things i believe, but to always speak the words He gives me. whatever happens after that...well, that's not up to me.
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overall, the "shower with purpose" was beautiful and challenging and i am so glad that i went.
gianna is an amazing woman--someone who inspires and lifts up. but she is also someone to be reckoned with. she said she is the abigail adams of her time
and i only hope to be a woman who follows her example.
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