I apologize for the long delay in between my "recaps." My recent days have been spent working, catching up on homework, enjoying the beginning of the holiday with the fam + best friends and generally avoiding technology. But I'm back now and hopefully here to stay. :)
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Our last weekend together was nothing short of simple and perfect.
First, there was Knotts Berry Farm.
In honor of Veteran’s Day, America's first amusement parks gives all veterans and active duty military free admission + free admission for one guest. So we got to spend our last Saturday together at the park free of charge.
We rode rollercoaster after rollercoaster, enjoyed homestyle barbecue, and walked in and out of the little shops, candy stores, and museums they had there.
Both Ethan and I LOVED Knotts Berry Farm, mostly because it was quiet and it has this very old time, cowboy-and-indian feel to it. And if anyone knows me, they know I looove me some southern and/or cowboy stuff. So I felt right at home.
But even better?
Snoopy. :)
To say I love Snoopy is a severe understatement. I’ve had a stuffed Snoopy since I was probably sometime between 2 and 4 years old. I still sleep with him every night and A Charlie Brown Christmas deserves every award known to man, in my opinion.
So needless to say, when I saw Snoopy in real life, I nearly died of heart failure.
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{please notice my disgustingly large, cheesy smile. this is when my heart exploded.} PLUS, there were stores of endless Snoopy merchandise, with everything Snoopy you can imagine. |
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| {i want ^this^ booth. SO bad.} |
I didn’t buy anything, but I wandered around making sure I touched every single thing in every single store and became convinced that I could work at a Snoopy store for the rest of my life and be the happiest person alive.
The rain finally came down around 6pm, just as we were leaving the park. God blessed us with His timing.
For dinner, we made this amazing spaghetti (with sauce from this recipe) and drank wine (beer for Ethan) while watching Life or Something Like It. I fell asleep crying that night, knowing it was our last one together.
Sunday went by way too fast. We spent most of the day talking about everything we wanted to talk about + spent time with Ethan’s family who stopped over to say their good-byes. We left my house in the early evening to grab some vanilla chais and watch the sun set over Newport Beach. Under the chilly pink and orange sky, we cuddled and kissed until dusk began to set in and our noses and ears were good and frozen.
The rest of the night I spent lying on Ethan’s chest, his fingers in my hair. We watched the final Harry Potter (the only Harry Potter I’ve ever seen, haha) because Ethan wanted to share it with me and I was glad I got to do that with him.
Monday was the weirdest day of my life. I spent several hours on base, reading and waiting to see Ethan. When we finally did get to see each other, we had about an hour. The most surreal hour of my life.
We didn't talk much. Mostly, we kissed and Ethan held me close while I tried not to cry. When we did talk, it was to share our favorite things about each other. And to reassure the other person that nothing would change.
Of course, good-bye came too soon. As the other Marines loaded into their Humvees, Ethan gave me one last kiss, one last squeeze of the hands, one last look of love before turning away.
I stood in the parking lot for a long time after that and sat in my car for even longer. Part of me was afraid to drive away, knowing that that would mean acknowledging what we have to endure ahead.
But I finally started up my engine and took my time driving off base, wondering how it was possible that I wasn't crying. That I was still breathing.
I thought I was going to be heart-broken--that I would crumble to the ground the moment he walked away from me. I thought that I would fall apart...break into a hundred thousand pieces and blow all over southern California.
But I didn’t.
I realized later that there had been handfuls of people letting me know they would be praying for me. And if you are reading this and are one of those people, I would hug you right now if I could, but all I can do is express the deepest, most heartfelt gratitude. And to let you know that God does answer prayers. Because despite the pain, there was peace. Immense, overwhelming peace. God was there in that moment, holding me up. I just know it. He is good beyond measure and my life is rich because of it.
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The last thing I said to Ethan was, “I’ll see you soon.”
“Soon” is relative. And “soon” will never be as soon as we’d like. But it’s not good-bye or “I’ll see you never.”
It’s soon. On the other side of this farewell and the countdowns and the miles and the months.
Soon. That’s the final destination.
That is where I’ll be waiting.
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