in haste to reach You

“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

“Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat,

walked on the water

and came toward Jesus."

{matthew 14:28-29}

tonight, i was listening to one of my favorite songs: await the sun by the wandering tree.



i heard this band for the first time about a year and a half ago at an acoustic show near los angeles.  their lyrics are powerful and their melodies are moving.  i couldn't pick a favorite song by them, but i think "await the sun" has a special place in my heart because of the lyrics.



"but still i am drowning

in a sea of lies

and whether to compromise myself..."



"Oh, God, i've lost myself again."



"Love,

forgive me.

i left you for the flesh."




each of those lyrics touches a different part of my soul every time i listen to the song.



but none so much as this:



i left my boat in haste to reach You.



tonight, i was listening to the song while driving to the tanning salon, with the sun setting over the coast as my backdrop.  and i began to cry, as i have a million other times to that line.



and as my wheels rolled across the blacktop, i imagined that i were in the boat that night instead of peter.  seeing Jesus walking on the waves, with the misty cold morning wrapped around Him.  and that feeling of HAVING to be near Him.  of being so in love with Him that i couldn't help but plunge my body into the freezing cold water.  into the largeness of the waves and the darkness of the water.  risk all that to sever the distance between us.



in haste to reach You.

in haste.



the haste part is what gets me.  for that reason, i know i wouldn't step onto the waves as gracefully as peter.  instead, i wonder how it would sound to have Jesus calling to me.  i imagine feeling such desperation that i wouldn't take the time to think about what i was doing or where i was going.  i imagine i'd clamber across the wood of the boat and nearly trip as i flailed feet first into the water.  i imagine i'd be spitting water everywhere and that i'd flounder for a bit before trying to make my way to Him.



people always give peter a hard time, but i admire peter.  he shares the miracle of conquering the waves with the One Who Made Them.



and i don't even know if the lyrics are talking about peter specifically.  but if not, i'd like to pretend that they're talking about me.  that i could hear them and know that nothing--no wind nor waves nor boat nor fear--would keep me apart from my beautiful Jesus.



i love imagining my clambering over to Him.  diving into deep waters with no other thought in my mind, except reaching Him.  because wherever He is, that is where i want to be, also.

{p.s. all of the wandering tree's music is currently available for free download.  if you're interested, check them out here.  they're one of my absolute favorites:)}