june.
it feels
so.
good.
like a favorite pair of jeans and how they feel like home,
or like a deep breath you've been holding in that you finally let out.
june.
it tastes like honey on the lips
and it rolls sweet and easy off the tongue.
i've been waiting for june since i first heard that dreaded D-word: deployment. and those 4 letters that make up that marvelous word have been at the forefront of my mind for the last 6 and a half months.
j.
u.
n.
e.
my best friend sent me a text yesterday that said, "june<3 how do you feel?"
how do i feel?
excited
and hopeful.
i feel like i'm healing.
i feel opportunity and light and love.
i feel possibility--like i'm standing on the shoreline before a sea of gorgeous turquoise water...and i'm just taking my breath before i dive in.
i feel summer. the time when i feel the most myself. when my heart comes alive and my dreams feel big and grand and possible.
and my dreams for this summer? well, they look something like this:
a sweet homecoming. big smiles and calloused hands intertwined with baby ones and worn boots on the soil of home. i can't wait to stick my face in his chest and to smell his smell and to see those eyes in the flesh, instead of over pixelated skype conversations. i can't wait to finally be wrapped up, safe in the arms that were made to hold me.
dresses. sun dresses and evening dresses. complimented by sun-kissed skin and wavy hair and summery wedges and long, mascara-covered eyelashes.
hand-holding.
after-dinner walks.
homemade ice cream.
warm afternoons spent laying on grass, swinging on swings, and staring at the sky.
spinach salads with strawberries and almonds and cucumbers and mangoes and all kinds of fresh things.
the smell of summer mornings. early breakfasts outside. hot coffee in the morning and iced vanilla chais in the afternoon.
afternoon naps.
making forts in my room.
the feel of my freshly shaven legs pulled through hip-hugging shorts.
toes in the sand; body in the salt water.
shaved ice.
picnics in the park.
trips to catalina island.
sea kayaking.
late night movies.
spur-of-the-moment trips to places like san diego and temecula.
afternoons spent laying in the sunshine in my backyard with a good book.
lime-flavored shrimp and cold, bottled beer.
feeling the heat of las vegas and marveling at the wonder that is the grand canyon.
country music. played way too loud. and big ridiculous sunglasses. and cowboy hats and torn shorts and flip-flops.
beer chips and cider.
drives to nowhere for absolutely no reason.bowls of fresh fruit and yogurt.
good morning kisses and
good afternoon kisses and
good night kisses and
all day kisses<3
and this list is just the tip of the iceberg. but what i want most from this summer is to take everything slow. to sleep in and to smell the morning and to savor the taste of summer fruit on my lips. i want to feel the sunshine seeping into my pores and to notice every crevice of ethan's hand when it envelops mine. i want to paint my toenails bright pink and laugh a lot and find new colors in sunsets. and i want to love in a way that is pure and deep and free.
i'm so glad you're finally here, june<3 i love you already.
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