uncommon valor is their common virtue

{source}

"semper fi.

it isn't sometimes or usually,

but always.

it is not negotiable; it is not relative,

but absolute."

yesterday,

ethan and i went on a double date with his cousin, sam, and one of his Marine buddies, jeff.

it was a lovely day (one which i'll probably blog about later) that started off in venice beach and ended in hollywood.

as we left hollywood, we were all giddy with plans to go to universal studios to grab dinner.  i clutched the arm of my Marine and up ahead, sam clutched the arm of hers.

as we walked down hollywood boulevard, jeff turns back to ethan and says, "did you see that?  that's dirty."

ethan said, "what?" and jeff replied, "that kid wearing them dress blues."

all of a sudden, the man i was holding onto was gone.  i turned around to see him already half a block back down hollywood boulevard, gaining on the 20-something-kid wearing, what was indeed, part of the "most distinctive uniform in the military":

a Marine's dress blues coat.

i sprinted down to catch up with him, along with jeff and sam.  pushing our way through the crowd waiting at the crosswalk, i stepped up behind ethan, and sam and jeff stood behind the guy, who was casually wearing their military uniform with a goofy hat and a pair of jeans and tennis shoes.

ethan towered over him and pointing to the coat asked, "where did you get that?"



the guy didn't even flinch, but muttered something under his breath about a thrift store.

ethan said, "are you a Marine?"

he stared ethan in the eye and muttered some other words along with a very clear "no."

"you know men die for that, right?"

my God.

i felt as if i had been punched in the stomach, all the air leaving my lungs.

the guy once again muttered something about his brother.  the light at the crosswalk turned green and the jacket-wearer looked back at the phone in his hand, most likely finishing the text he had been working on.  he was unapologetic and seemed calloused and unfeeling towards the things ethan had just said.

but i wasn't; i felt weak, sick to my stomach by what had just happened.  earlier that morning, i had read about a memorial service at camp pendleton for fallen Marines, where double and triple Marine amputees attended along with family and friends who had lost loved ones.  this was not okay.  this was not okay.  and i didn't see one ounce of respect or understanding for that in that man's eyes; not one.

i looked up at ethan and could see his jaw clench as he watched the kid walk away.  he said nothing, but instead, grabbed my hand as the 4 of us started back towards the car.

i pulled on ethan's arm and said, "do you want to let him walk away?  do you want to go take that jacket from him?"

he smirked at me and said, "do you want me to get into a fight?"

i didn't answer his question, but pulled on his arm again and asked, "are you going to regret walking away tomorrow?"

his response was, "i already regret it right now."

"well, then what are you doing?" i said, staring into his big brown eyes.  we walked half a block further as i prodded him with my eyes and i could see him thinking, trying to be the better man, to walk away.

but, i was glad when he turned to me, sunglasses and car keys in hand: "can you hold these?"

he looked at jeff who, knowingly, came up alongside him and they sprinted back down the street where we had just come from.  

sam and i grabbed hands and did the same, not running nearly as fast as our Marines, but enough to keep up.  we saw which way they were going and split up on the other side of the street.

i prayed earnestly to God for the next hour that we would find the man in the coat, but we never did.  we searched high and low, running in and out of malls and stores, staking posts at different places around the block.

ethan called me a half hour after our search began and i could hear the desperation in his voice.  "i can't leave without that jacket."

unfortunately, we had to.  hollywood boulevard is not that long or big, but there are movie theaters, bus stops and a subway, all of which could've had our guy.

---

last night, after the incident happened and we had stuffed ourselves silly with pizza, jeff asleep on the couch across from us, we laid in his aunt's living room and ethan whispered to me in the dark.  "i failed."

i kissed his hand and tears filling my eyes, told him how i felt as he picked at the couch, disappointment written across his face.

and what i told him was this:

failure was not the word crossed my mind when i thought of what happened.

i have honestly never been so impressed with ethan the entire time we've been together.  he impresses me daily, but the way he approached that guy, the way he held himself, the things he said, amazed me beyond words.

only 30 minutes or so before that incident happened, he and i had been sitting on the edge of a fountain, ethan slurping down a mint chocolate chip cone and me sipping on an all-natural peach smoothie.  there we sat and talked about the Marines.  we talked about his frustrations, how tired he is of the games and the schedule and how much he would like a vacation.

but when the moment came to stand up for something important, he responded without hesitation or a second thought.

and in my book, that is the definition of a good man,

but also, an important quality of a Marine.

“Marine Corps integrity is doing that thing which is right, when no one is looking.”{Col. Colin Lampard, USMC}

i saw that integrity in action last night.

i saw the man i love stand up for every Marine who has served in the last two centuries--those that have sacrificed their homes, families, limbs, sanity, and very lives so that we might live free--those who deserve the wear the colors of that uniform.

and so i'd say that failure is not even part of the equation, but instead

honor, courage, commitment.

and even if no one else understood,

i know i needed a reminder of the importance and respect for things that us civilians will never see, understand, or fully grasp, no matter how close we are to it.

"you know men die for that, right?"

i thought i would never get to see my Marine in action,

but that changed yesterday

and i will never be the same.