some things on my mind

-As of late, my life looks like work, school, work, school, work…anyone seeing a pattern? :)  After work, I feel like I barely have time to cook dinner and throw on my boxers before my mind is awash in logic forms, bio psychology key terms, and French phrases (which I am still trying hard to learn to pronounce and even harder to understand.)  Fortunately for me, I am really enjoying the material.  There are simply just not enough hours in the day to read and contain the knowledge these classes are trying to give me.



 

-Love.  If I am being honest, I have been hurt a lot by men and because of that, I have tried hard not to trust Ethan so much or love him as deeply as I could.  But I’ve found that time has caused surrender.  And the surrender has been glorious.  It makes me feel things for Ethan I never thought I would feel and trust him in ways I never thought possible.  I’m learning to jump again and it’s been terrifying and beautiful, all at the same time.

-Deployment.  It is sneaking up fast and hard and even though there is still some time left, it is not enough.  Of course, when it comes to deployment, is any amount of time enough?  I am just not sure I am strong enough to withstand this upcoming season.  The pain immediately following his departure is what I fear the most and I pray it doesn't kill me.



-Maryland.  I have Maryland on the brain.  Beautiful, glorious Maryland.  A) Because one of my best friends lives out there and b) just because it’s more beautiful and quieter and simpler than California.  I am making tentative plans to go and visit this upcoming spring and just looking at flights makes my skin tingle.  I miss the east coast every.single.day. and I am anxious to go back.



- Autumn.  Southern California doesn’t have an autumn, which makes me weep a little bit on the inside!  So what I’m hoping for is one little weekend trip up to Sacramento.  Just one little weekend to see the foliage and one weekend to visit apple hill and buy apple donuts and drink apple cider and bask in that warm fall glow.  Everything in my being aches for it.

-Cold Tangerines.  No matter how exhausted my brain is from all the schoolwork I’ve done, I’ve made it a point to read at least one chapter before I fall asleep every night.  Last night, the chapter was “Broken Bottles” and boy, did that one give me something hard to pray and think about as I fell asleep.  I love books that like.  I love knowing it’s making me grow.

- My to-list.

It is long and grows longer by the day.  Emails are my public enemy number 1.  No matter how many I read and reply to, more keep piling in.  I definitely have some in my inbox from probably 6 months ago that still beg a response, so I apologize to anyone who I haven’t gotten back to.

-Contentment.  Despite all the craziness and unknown future that is pressing closer, I am strangely at peace.  God has been growing me and showing me and teaching me.  And I still force myself to make time for those learning moments.  Time for Cold Tangerine moments and evening walks and long, hot showers and tea in bed.  Those are the moments that refresh and rejuvenate and remind me that all is truly well in this season, in this today.  And tomorrow it may not be, so I want to soak it all up while I can.

I hope your life is equally content, my friends.  And I hope you all have a gorgeous, happy Wednesday. :)

Xo. Charla