i'm convinced that this is the way i should do my blogging from now on.
you see, we don't have internet at my house currently. which has turned out to be a blessing in disguise. 1) because there are endless possibilities for my evening that don't include wasting time on pinterest or facebook and 2) because right now? i'm sitting outside of starbucks, a vanilla steamer to my right. it's a perfect 70 degrees right now, with a little breeze blowing through and the last of the sunset in the distance.
yes, this is how i want to do my blogging from now on.
***
hot august nights. (written last night)
it is the perfect summer night tonight in huntington beach. We don't get many of those here. You see, orange county has this thing...where no matter how hot it is during the day, it is always cold at night. Being that i'm from sacramento, one of my favorite things about summer are the nights. Those nights that are the perfect temperature for shorts and tank tops and flip flops. Those nights where you can drive with all the windows down and the breeze hits your face at just the right angle and you can't help but feel alive. Orange county usually doesn't have that. And the last 2 summers i've complained about missing those nights and prayed that God would give me some to remind me of summer back home.
And tonight? He did just that. I was walking to the kitchen when I peeked out the screen door to see a cotton candy sky. I needed to go for a walk and at this time of evening, normally you need a sweatshirt or a least a pair of jeans. But not tonight. I walked the block and I thanked God and I felt strangely aware of my physical being and as cheesy at it sounds, I thanked God for mundane suburbia because, at this moment, it means I get to have a night like this.
***
my favorite weekend.
this past weekend was, in my book, one of the best weekends i've ever had.
Ethan and I spent the entire thing together. On Friday night, we got Mexican food. On Saturday morning, we got the best lattes i've ever had, sat outside in the warm morning, and read the paper together.
We went to Trader Joe's to go shopping for picnic supplies and then headed to the park. We rented beach cruisers and biked around the park for an hour. Sigh. My favorite thing. It was deathly hot, so we stopped and got sno-cones before returning our bikes and heading out to the shade to have our picnic:) We drank sweet tea and ate papaya and mango and pasta salad. Ethan put his head on my lap and we talked and talked and talked. And the best part? It started sprinkling on us.
right before it started sprinkling<3
After that, we went to an outdoor mall. We bought delicious iced coffees (mine was a delicious raspberry latte) and I bought a pretty peasant top.
We ended the night by seeing a late showing of The Campaign, which was a little bit funny and a lot bit raunchy. I don't recommend it.
On Sunday, we relaxed. We made breakfast together, watched a couple movies, ran some errands, and escaped the August heat by slipping into an air-conditioned restaurant for a cozy dinner.
Just thinking about it makes me happy. It's not all the time that you get weekends that make you feel like that—young and content and happy to be alive. But that one will definitely go down in history as one of the best weekends evar.
***
burnt out.
Burn out. I can't remember the last time it's happened to me, but it's here and it's pressing hard against my chest and my mind and my soul. I wake up in the morning and I feel tired. I make myself do my make-up and drag myself to work and I drink my cup of coffee and try to find ways to stay motivated. In the meantime, i'm secretly counting down the hours until the weekend and wondering what brought me to this place where I feel like a Monday through Friday, 9-5 Shell of a Person. I've begun hating myself and how I so easily lose patience with my co-workers. I used to take joy in the fact that people need me and now i'm just annoyed. Haven't they figured out how to do this job without me? And on my breaks, I make to-do lists that look something like: clean the kitchen floor. Thank you notes. Gym. Organize pictures. It's futile though, and I know it. My top-secret plan is to watch Roseanne while I eat sunflower seeds and coffee ice cream. So, I do. Yet, somehow, the next morning comes, and i'm just as exhausted.
So, today I decided, enough is enough. I'm taking a personal day. A real-life personal day.
I put in the request to my manager and I crossed my fingers and I prayed. HARD. It was at the point where, if she said I couldn't, I would probably drive home screaming and then throw myself on my bed and weep. Or at least a little bit on the inside.
But...she said yes:) So, tomorrow is MY day. The Day of Charla.
And you know what i'm going to do? Well, since you asked, i'll tell you:) I'm going to sleep in. Then, i'm going to get a latte. I'm going to sit outside with my latte and i'm going to listen to the sounds of the morning and read a book and underline my favorite parts and i'm going to give thanks and pray. Then, i'm going to go back to the gym for the first time in months. I'm going to get sweaty and gross before going home to shower and headed out to the nearest Urban Outfitters. I got a giftcard for my birthday that i've been DYING to use and I figure...this is my chance. After that, i'm going to come home and lay out in my backyard and drink some sweet tea and read some more. I'm going to get some sun on my skin and underline more lines and watch the hummingbirds at the feeder only feet away from my lounge chair. Or maybe i'll get a pedicure. Or take a nap. Or write in my journal.
Part of me tells the other part of me that what I really need to do is be productive. There is still a kitchen floor to be cleaned and thank you notes to be written. But not tomorrow. Not the Day of Charla. I am determined not to give myself a guilt trip that my day of rest. That will be my biggest challenge, I think.
***
tennessee dreamin
Once upon a time, I always knew I wanted to go to Tennessee. But I never went.
Once upon a time (last summer, to be exact), my mom went to Tennessee and fell truly madly deeply in love.
So last night, while we wrapped up one of our phone conversations, I suggested that we take a trip. To see the fall foliage in the south. To Tennessee. Just me and her.
We don't know yet if it will happen. But today, while I got started on price-checking hotels and flight plans and dates and rental cars and dreamed about what the Blue Ridge mountains look like in person, I was ecstatic and happy.
So, even if it doesn't work out, I still find it an amazing thing just to dream.
***
good night.
it's getting chilly out here. and i have an evening phone date with ethan. so i'm off, dear friends. i hope sweet thursday night dreamin is ahead of you<3
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