happy
Wednesday:)
i'm
off work.
it's
supposed to rain tonight.
my
belly is full of Oreo's.
my
little Christmas tree is lit.
life
is pretty sweet.
***
my
Thanksgiving weekend was pretty magical. and i can't say
exactly why. it's not that anything particularly special
happened. it was just a couple of days where everything felt
right. peaceful. it
was a time when i felt, for the first time in a long time, like i was
exactly where i was supposed to be.
the
rest of Thanksgiving Day was probably the least eventful of all of
the days. after i got done writing my last post, i got really
cranky. Ethan was in a grumpy mood because he had Marine Corps
homework to do and i was grumpy because i was in pain. and
probably because holidays help create these expectations of how
perfect everything is going to be and they often never turn out the way you expect.
Ethan sat in the kitchen and worked on his homework and i sat in bed
and stewed in my crankiness.
the
evening got better, though. we listened to Christmas music and
sipped mimosas while we worked on dinner.
after
the table was set, we lit a few candles and turned off the lights and
talked about what we were thankful for, and then Ethan prayed a
really good prayer. shortly after dinner began, it ended. i was in immense pain, so i went to lay in bed and Ethan cleaned up
and put all the food away. such a sweetheart.
we ended
the night by watching Frosty the Snowman and The Amazing
Spiderman while munching on cajun-flavored popcorn.
Friday
was so nice and relaxing. Ethan did homework and i cleaned a
little bit, drank mimosas while i gave myself a facial, and downloaded
Chris Brown songs from iTunes.
around
5:30, Ethan took a break from homework to take me to Guitar Center, where he helped me pick out my first acoustic guitar:)
this
was kind of a big deal for me. i've been wanting to learn
guitar for years, but i have kept putting it off, putting it off,
putting it off. and on Friday, it felt like one of those "i
need to do this" moments. it was just a thing that i needed to do for myself.
it
took us about an hour to find the "right" guitar for me. originally,
i decided on this Alkaline Trio guitar--it was a gorgeous dark brown
color and instead of a circle in the middle, it had a heart. SO
cute. but as we stood in line to buy it, i saw another pretty
guitar for the same price. Ethan strummed both of them and the
sound on this second guitar blew the other one out of the water. and that's my new baby in the picture above:) i'm still trying to come up with a pretty name for her.
normally,
when i spent a lot of money on something, i feel a certain amount of
guilt for doing so. but this was a purchase i had such
confidence and peace about. it felt like an investment toward my soul. i left
the store a completely happy girl.
 |
| (a little off-topic, but while we were at the store, Ethan also played a song he wrote for me back in 2010:) the sound on the video wouldn't work, so this picture is the next best thing!) |
after
Guitar Center, Ethan picked up some coffees for us, then we headed
back to my house, where he worked on homework for a few more hours and i had a phone date with my sister<3
on
Saturday, we got up early, grabbed peppermint white mochas, put some
Charlie Brown Christmas on my CD player, and drove up to Julian to
try and get me a Christmas tree. it was foggy outside, i was
wearing my boots, a scarf...i was excited and ready<3
unfortunately,
Julian was not what i expected. first of all, it was 20 degrees
hotter than the weather channel predicted. which meant that
both Ethan and i were unbelievably uncomfortable, being that we had
both dressed for 60 degree weather, instead of 80 degree weather.
second
of all, i didn't find Julian to be anything special. it didn't
have that small-town magic that i've felt in so many other places
i've been. it was average, at best.
lastly,
i was in a lot of pain from all the walking we were doing. AND
it was crowded. like, really crowded. and while i really
dislike crowds, Ethan despises crowds to no end. it is a
quality i am thankful for. a couple hours into our time
there--right after a quick slice of boysenberry apple pie and some
ice cream--
we
agreed that we both wanted to go home. which meant 3 hours of
traffic on the trip back.
we
ended the night on a good note, though:) we piled a couple of dinner
plates high with leftovers, turned off the lights in my bedroom, and
watched Polar Express.
Sunday
was my favorite day, consisting of dreamy, pure bliss. and yes, i'm horribly cheesy, but that's okay.
we
slept in past noon. got a late breakfast around 2: cappuccinos
and omelets. then, we went and got me a little baby Christmas tree--and even some mistletoe!--from this cute little family place down the street.
after
running some errands, we came back to my house, made room for my
tree, and hung up my mistletoe. i made vanilla steamers and
served us up some pie and whipped cream. and with the Christmas
Pandora station playing in the background, we wound some little
lights around my tree and ended the night by watching A
Charlie Brown Christmas.
it
was, what i could call, DIVINE. at
one point, Ethan looked over at me and said, "you're really
happy, huh?" i asked him how he could tell and he said, "i
just know that look on your face, in your eyes. that glow."
and i'm sure i was glowing. my heart was positively radiating
from the whole evening.
***
this
was my first Thanksgiving with Ethan and it will also be our first
Christmas and New Year's together. by this time next year,
he'll be deployed again. which means that this is our only
chance at the holidays until 2014.
going
home for Christmas has
been
magical the past two years, but i've always had to go home to find
it. up until now, Orange County has lacked the Christmas spirit
because i've had no one to share it with. this year, i finally
do. and i plan to make the most of it.
i
want to go look at Christmas lights and hold cold hands together.
i want to make red
velvet hot chocolate and watch It's
a Wonderful Life together.
i want to slow dance to this song next to my little baby Christmas tree.
you
know, on Monday, i told someone i consider a close friend about my
weekend...about the music and the tree...all of it. "i'm
feeling the Christmas spirit so much this year. i'm finally
getting to have Christmas in Orange County. i finally get to
have Christmas with Ethan."
their
response? "i don't think i'm celebrating Christmas this year.
i'm not doing the gifts, the music, nothing."
i tried to follow up with something positive, saying i understand how
they feel. and then i tried to bring it back to the fact that Ethan
was here, that i was happy. i needed someone to rejoice with me
in my rejoicing. and i didn't get what i was looking for.
this person never even acknowledged what i said. instead, they
just kept talking about how THEY aren't going to celebrate this year.
i
don't think i ask for a lot from my friends. i'm pretty
low-maintenance. but sometimes, just sometimes, i really need
some support. i need someone to smile with me, simply because
i'm smiling. i need it to not always be about them.
anyways,
i just wanted to vent about that because it made me upset, but ALSO,
because i want to say that i am going to be selfish this year and say
that i don't care much about that person's Christmas season at all.
Ethan and i have been together almost 3 years and this is our first
Christmas. and i will celebrate it loudly and with joy. i
will drink ridiculous amounts of hot chocolate. i will listen
to Christmas music obsessively and on repeat. i will wear
scarves and elf hats and light Christmasy smelling candles.
this season has me feeling all kinds of lit up inside and no selfish
person is going to take that away from me. this is my time, and
Ethan's time, and i will celebrate loudly, maybe even obnoxiously.
^this will be me.
so, that was my weekend. it was beyond lovely--everything i dreamed it would be.
the
night before Thanksgiving, after my evening at the hospital, i laid
in bed and cried because i thought that our Thanksgiving would be
ruined--that we would miss it because of my health. but God
redeemed it, made it more beautiful than i imagined...and i am SO thankful for that<3
and
in other news, it just started raining outside and that is pretty
much the star on top of my proverbial Christmas tree:)
0 comments:
Post a Comment