passion and purity.

some of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite books:

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By trying to grab fulfillment  everywhere, we find it nowhere.

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'Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.'

Must the vision cost so much?

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The fair new petals must fall, and for no visible reason.  No one seems enriched by the stripping.

And the first step into the realm of giving is a like surrender-not manward but Godward: an utter yielding of our best.  So long as our idea of surrender is limited to the renouncing of awful things, we have never grasped it’s true meaning: that is not worthy of the name for “no polluted thing” can be offered.

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He gives all.
He asks all.

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I am seized with fear that my own will will be given place and I will thus ruin my usableness for God.

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Did I want what I wanted or did I want what He wanted, no matter what it might cost?

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The disciples could find only 5 loaves of bread and 2 fishes.  “Let me have them,” said Jesus.  He asked for all.

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If my life is broken before Jesus, it is because pieces will feed a multitude, while a loaf will satisfy only a little lad.

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I was wishing that my wishes were what God wished and if my wishes were not what God wished, I wished that I could wish that my wishes would go away, but the wishes were still there.

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And the Lord spake unto Aaron, Thou shalt have no inheritance in their land.  I am thy part and thine inheritance…
(Numbers 18:20)



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God sifted men’s hearts in Old Testament times:

Genesis 22:1-3 “Now it came to pass after these things that God tested Abraham, and said to him, “Abraham!”
And he said, “Here I am.”  Then He said, “Take now your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.”  So Abraham rose early in the morning and saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him, and Isaac his son; and he split the wood for the burnt offering, and arose and went to the place of which God had told him…”

God was still sifting hearts in New Testament times:

Matthew 19: 16, 21

   
Now behold, one came and said to Him, “Good Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life?” 
…Jesus said to him, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”

a giant of the faith like Abraham or Paul-of course they had to be tested with great tests.  i was only a college girl, trying to do well in my studies, praying for direction for my life, attracted to a very appealing man whose primary interest was the Kingdom of God.  Anything wrong with that?

"If you wish to go the whole way..." It was not to the intellect alone that the question came. My heart and my feelings were involved now, and I must give an answer.  God was sifting me this time.  Did I want to go the "whole way"?  Yes, Lord.

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I do know that waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one’s thoughts.

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Tomorrow was not our business; it was His.  Letting it rest with Him was the discipline for the day, and it was enough.

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How long, Lord, must I wait?

Never mind, Child.  Trust Me.

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What has been like water from the well of Bethlehem to you recently?  Love, friendship, spiritual blessing?  Then at the peril of your soul, you take it to satisfy yourself.  if you do, you cannot pour it out before the Lord.  If I hold spiritual blessings for myself, they will corrupt me no matter how beautiful they are.  I have to pour them out before the Lord, give them to Him in my mind, though it looks as if I am wasting them, even as David poured the water out on the sand to be instantly sucked up.

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God gives us material for sacrifice.  Sometimes the sacrifice makes little sense to others, but when offered to Him is always accepted...Loneliness itself is material for sacrifice.  The transformation into something He can use for good takes place only when the offering is put into His hands.  What will He do with these offerings?  Never mind.  He knows what to do.

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...for Thee, dear Lord, I wait.

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When the will of God crosses the will of a man, somebody has to die.

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We are not meant to die merely in order to be dead.  We die in order to live.  A seed falls into the dark earth and dies.  Out of its death comes multiplied life.

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He gave the words "...except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit." (John 12:24)

So it was with our little kernel of possibility.  So small, but buried.  And I asked God to water it, there in its darkness, and transform the dead thing into fruit...If only it could be that from so small a seed He might create the fruits of the Spirit in me, even just the beginning of learning them.

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Today the thought occurred to me, suppose He should ask me to wait five years?  It stuns me to think of it.  Yet-could I imagine that the mercy of God which has stretched to me from everlasting to everlasting could be exhausted in five years?

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...there will be very great release from unbearable burdens in the language of the autumn trees, for example, when they dress most gloriously in their preparation for death.  The red of the leaves is the sign of the cross.  Winter follows, when snow closes everything in frozen silence.  The trees then are skeletons, but wonders are being performed under the surface of things.  Spring comes, and the hidden wonders burst out all at once-tiny shoots, swelling buds, touches of green and red where all seemed hopeless the day before...If the tree had not consented to be a skeleton for many months, there would be no new life rising...

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The last part of the letter showed signs of spring:

"The Lord has brought about growth in me through knowing him, something I cannot regret, though there have been times when I wished I'd never met him.  I have to give him to the Lord regularly.  I live "present tense" more than ever before and have managed to overcome the plaguing desire to know if "we" will eventually "work out."  I've told the Lord I want to be an obedient servant and He replied, "And are you willing to face grief and pain or whatever it takes for me to make you that?"  Even though I felt unable, I said, "What choice do I have?  I know too much to drop the ball now.  There's no turning back."  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't afraid.  But He has brought me this far and already my joy is unspeakable."

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Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living.

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The effect of my troubles depends not on the nature of the troubles themselves, but on how I receive them.  I can receive them with both hands in faith and acceptance, or I can rebel and reject...Taken in a spirit of trust, even loneliness contributes to the maturing of character, even the endurance of separation and silence and that hardest thing of all, uncertainty, can build in us a steady hope.

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He will not necessarily protect us-not from anything it takes to make us like His Son.

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...we have to learn to trust in little things, even in what may seem like silly little things, if we are ever going to be privileged to suffer in the big things.

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...the deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by His letting us have our way in the end, but by His making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience until we are able honestly to pray what He taught His disciples to pray: Thy will be done.  Acceptance of whatever that means is the great victory of faith that overcomes the world.

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If the yearnings went away, what would we have to offer up to the Lord?  Aren't they given to us to offer?  It is the control of passion, not it's eradication, that is needed.  How would be learn to submit to the authority of Christ if we had nothing to submit?



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..."yes" to God always leads in the end to joy.