wanderlust should've been my middle name

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i went through my pictures last night—smiled as i dove into each photograph.

i saw myself in hawaii and jamaica.  in san diego and san luis obispo, in los angeles and on the shores of huntington, laguna and newport beaches.  in venice and santa monica and temecula.  i saw myself in half moon bay, sausalito and san francisco.  i saw myself in lake tahoe, reno, and nevada city.  i saw myself in maryland, washington dc and philadelphia.

this weekend i hope to see myself in old town orange,

and next weekend, ethan and i have plans to take the 2-hour drive up to beautiful santa barbara.  i hear the beaches are white and the downtown is quaint.  and the thought of it makes my toes curl--because i’ve never been to santa barbara.  it is untouched territory begging to be explored.

i’ll even have to drive along the coast just to get there and i picture the wind whipping through my hair as the waves pass me to the left and the hills to my right.  that thought alone forces me to breathe deep and to still my aching heart.

and last night, while i was caught up in that place between my pictures and the past, reality and my dreams for the future, i doodled my favorite word in my journal.

i watched it dance across the page--fill it up until the smile in my heart made its way up to my lips...

wanderlust.

i am convinced it should’ve been my middle name.

a word i imagine being tattooed perfectly across my skin and pumping through my veins, moving faster than the cells that reside there.

and i know that to any ordinary person, my heart is expected to be covered in delicate flesh—but i am convinced that it is, instead, wrapped by the face of the world, a true reflection of my deepest desires to plant my feet with the dirt of foreign places.  to permeate my soul in the landscape of each continent, in the stories behind countless tribes and in the faces of every people.

but until i make it across this continent, across the atlantic, across the globe, i will pour myself back into these photographs.  i will relish the feeling of my toes curling up inside my teal vans as i wind my way up the coast to santa barbara.  and i will find peace between each letter of my self-given middle name—because it is part of who i am.  the one part of me that can't be tamed.  and i wouldn't have it any other way.

"when i was younger i used to be wild...

as wild as an elephant's child.

and i don't think i'll ever change.

i think i'm gonna stay the same."

--boys like girls "holiday"