30-Day Blog Challenge: Day 28

Day 28 - Something that you miss.

strange that this topic would come up

because lately i’ve been missing something a lot...

being sixteen.



i miss checking my phone every 2 minutes,

waiting for that text message that would say,

“what are we doing tonight?”

or

“come pick me up."

i miss being in the driver’s seat,

my car packed full of the people i loved,

all yelling to each other over dashboard confessional blaring on the stereo.

i miss the lack of plans,

the not knowing what each night would hold,

but that i wouldn’t reach my bed until around 4 in the morning

and that it was always absolutely worth it.

i miss the not knowing who was going to step into my life

at any given moment.

like becoming friends with the guy behind the cash register at taco bell.

or meeting a friend of a friend,

a quiet, cute boy who barely got the nerve to hold my hand at the movies,

but would never fail to call me the moment i got off work

each and every day.

i miss the not knowing of when i was going to fall in love next,

but the excitement of knowing that any guy i met could be

the one.

or at any rate,

the guy that could love me today. :)

i miss getting on the freeway and just driving.

and it didn’t matter where we ended up,

because all that did matter was that we were

together.

i miss that feeling of being alive.

of knowing we didn’t have to be all that responsible

because we had our whole lives to sleep,

to save money,

to commit to love.

and now i am almost 23,

my life a monotonous string

of work meetings

and stacks of bills

and responsibilities.

but i know that sixteen-year-old girl

hasn’t gone far.

in fact, i feel her tugging on my heart quite often,

reminding me that sixteen isn’t an age

or a time period...

it’s a place in your heart.

and maybe one of these days,

when i find a way to let go...

i will be

sixteen

again.

“growing up is never easy.

you hold on to things that were.

you wonder what’s to come.

but that night, i think we knew it was time to let go of what had been

and look ahead to what would be.

…the thing is, we didn’t have to hate each other for getting older.

we just had to forgive ourselves…for growing up.”

-the wonder years