(no, i'm not kidding)
despite the emotionally traumatizing day i had at work yesterday, i managed to get a good night's sleep and show up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at work this morning, ready to put the past behind me.
but i assumed too quickly that the past was mutually ready to leave me.
after only being at work for a short time, my co-workers worriedly asked me if i had seen or heard from my banana. i was eager to drop the subject, but one of my co-workers seemed verrry interested about the topic of my banana...a little too interested if you ask me.
i tried using psychological tactics against him, letting him know that i "knew" he was in possession of banana!!! but he swore up and down that he knew nothing. after comparing handwriting samples (true story), he was eliminated as a suspect. but whooo else in the office would do such a monstrous thing?
my previous suspect was of some use to me...he ended up giving me the one clue that would lead to my cracking the case:
"that looks like jeff's handwriting."
jeff? no. it couldn't be! the nice, happy man in the corner desk who is always busily working away?
i had to find out for myself. i walked crept upstairs and to his desk.
empty.
i pulled out one of his folders...
and i knew.
the n's were the same...the e's were the same...even the exclamation points were the same!
i had my man. now all i had to do was corner him and get him to confess.
i sent him an email, letting him know i was onto him: "you're the banana kidnapper!"
no response.
(...maybe because he wasn't at his desk.)
hours later, as i was sitting downstairs, reminiscing about the life of my banana that could've been, he appeared out of nowhere: "you have a package on your desk."
i was fearful of what i would find, yet i had to know.
i waited for him to leave, then braced myself and made the long, treacherous walk upstairs, wondering what awaited me.
what did i find?
well, as they say, a picture's worth a thousand words...
new bananas, wow!
so much prettier and better than my other (now smashed) banana!
needless to say, i forgave jeff (although i will now be hiding my fruit from now on!) and we have agreed to continue to work peacefully with each other.
when asked why he did it, jeff, as the responsible tax professional that he is, responded: tax season - it goes to your head!
enough said :)
the end!
p.s. this has been the most hilarious, awesomest thing that has ever happened to me! i am convinced nothing can beat it :) thank you, jeff, for making my week!
**the pictures you are about to view contain graphic content and may not be suitable for all banana lovers viewers**
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